Speeding Judgement

In our fast paced world, where everyone is always busy and you're always running late for something, it's inevitable that here and there you're going to get a speeding fine. I haven't had many in my driving history, although I am impatient by nature, I don't consider myself to be a lead-foot. But excuses aside, each time I have been flashed by the speedy camera I've been running late. I recently found myself with one such fine - only $75 and no demerit points - I was only 9kms over the speed limit, but yes I know, speeding is speeding. I was expecting it. Driving to work a few months ago down the highway I remember seeing the flash of the camera as I drove under a bridge and looked down at my speedo to see I was almost 10km over. I hate that feeling when you realise you've been caught. The sinking feeling as your throat falls into your stomach and the lurching of your heart into that now seemingly empty space your falling throat has just vacated. There you are, cursing, knowing you're an idiot and calculating that the cost of a few minutes of lateness will be as much if not more than the fruits of your day at work.

And it's not over then is it. You receive your fine in the mail a few weeks or months later (depending how quick they are down at Police Headquarters this speeding season) and there you are - photographed braking the traffic laws. Of course there are all the scary threats plastered all over your traffic infringement notice about how if you don't pay it within the time you could find yourself in court or maybe even a nice little stint in a cell. This makes for a wonderfully disheartening piece of mail at the end of what has already probably been a shit day spent at a job you hate.

But, after all that, the one thing that makes me angrier than getting a speeding fine is the judgemental look of disdain on the post office attendant's face when you go in to pay it! Because, you see, speeding fines are one of the very few things you still have to pay in person in our increasingly electronic, paperless society and I have no doubt it's so you have to go into a post office and admit to another member of the general public that you broke the law. I'm sure there are police officers everywhere who love that you can't privately pay a speeding fine online or over the phone via the much less painless and embarrassing method of funds transfer. And I'm sure it's even consider it to be a speeding deterrent. You have to go into a post office and say 'Hi, my name's Joe Blogs and I'm a law-breaking member of society. Now, can you please take your sweet ass time making me wait as you conduct the laborious task of keying in each digit of information separately, with a raised eyebrow and a glassy stare shot over the top of your glasses in my direction. All the time thinking I'm a no-good-20-something with no respect for society, so I can waste more of my valuable work day and be judged for it as well? Thanks, thanks very much!'

For goodness sake, if my post office attendant is the jury then I have officially been judged and it is bad news for me! All I can compare it to is when you're a kid and you get in trouble at school and you have to go home with the letter from your teacher and tell your mother what you did wrong. It's not enough to be judged by the long arm of the law, my post office attendant also finds it necessary to judge me and show, not only her disappointment but her disgust in my actions. You're a fecking Australia Post employee, not Judge Judy! What - post office attendants don't get speeding fines?